There’s this story I’ve been carrying around for a very long time. It’s from early on in my relationship with my partner. And I’ve long yearned to share it with someone, anyone really, but I always felt that I should really share it with him first.
Not because it’s important; it’s really not. It’s practically an inconsequential detail. But it’s something he didn’t know about our relationship.
You see, we’d been together for about a month. Not long at all, really. But ours was a relationship that formed quickly and touched us both deeply almost immediately. Our first date lasted, oh, about 36 hours? I only left because I really did have to make it to class the next day. And we saw each other almost every day after that.
About a month into this whirlwind, as I was floating back into the reality from a post-coital bliss, I looked straight at him and, smiling, said, “Hello, you.”
And he looked right back at me and said, “I love you, too.”
Neither of us was really ready for that (though I was very much in love him already, too,) so we wordlessly shelved the sentiment, and it didn’t come up again until I actually got to a place where I was ready to say the words, myself. (I did it through email, because that is my tried and true method of sharing that kind of thing. It works for me. Don’t judge.)
I never knew whether he knew that he was (technically) the first one who’d said “I love you,” or if he simply thought that we’d exchanged the sentiment on that day. And there was never a moment in which it made sense to bring it up, and since I didn’t know how he would react, and it wasn’t exactly important anyway, I held this story silently in my heart while years passed by.
It became more and more difficult to imagine a moment that would be the perfect set-up for me to tell him. I knew I wanted to share this with him, but I never really knew how.
Until yesterday, when I said to him, “I love you,” (as I now do several times a day.)
And he looked back at me, and said, “Hello!”
I was silent for a moment, and then I burst out laughing, so hard that when I was finished I had no choice but to explain to him what was so damn funny.
So I did, and then we laughed together about it, because we’re even now.
It’s all good.