Changing my name at work, Part 4: My Co-Workers!

[Did you miss the beginning of this saga? Go ahead and read about my initial attempt to get my name changed, getting the union to help me out, and my meeting with the CEO.]

So, once I had achieved my victory, got the new name tag, and the email informing everyone of the change had been sent out, I had to actually, like, interact with the people I work with.

Everyone has been truly wonderful.

I should say, a few people actually knew what was going on before I got administrative approval. I have one queer work friend who I kept up-to-date throughout the process. But also, I had another co-worker midway through the process approach me one morning with genuine concern. She said I really hadn’t seemed like my normal cheery self lately and she was worried about me. I gave her a summary of the situation (at the time, I had already contacted the union, but hadn’t yet had the meeting threatening to grieve.) Her first response was just “Oh! So, do want me to start calling you Kasey?” and then she went on to declare that it as obvious that Kasey suits me much better, and started introducing me to our other co-workers (“This is Kasey! Have you met Kasey?”)

It was absurdly sweet.

Most of the responses since the change has been made official have involved some form or another of “I am really going to try to call you Kasey, but I might mess up sometimes. Will you forgive me?” Which, of course I will! Though honestly, I’ve been really impressed at how rarely anyone does slip up. Pretty much immediately, I was being called Kasey at least 90% of the time, by everyone.

But anyway, an assortment of other interactions I’ve had around my name:

One of my managers crossed my old name out on the schedules and wrote my new name in over it, but then thought to ask me whether that was ok – she could just print a clean copy with my name on it, if I didn’t want so much attention drawn to the change; she’s just very against printing extra copies of things if it’s not necessary. I really didn’t mind, but I super appreciated her asking.

One co-worker was surprised I had kept things so quiet – she thought it would have been awesome hilarious if I had just gotten everyone to call me Kasey even while stuck wearing the name tag with my birth name. I told her I honestly hadn’t been far off of doing that, if it had dragged on any longer.

Another co-worker told me she had also changed both her first and last names, as an adult, probably about a decade ago. She told me why she had chosen the names she did, and asked me why I chose mine. It turns out we both changed our last names to a grandmother’s maiden name!

And I had another person walk over to me, hug me, congratulate me, and thank me for being so strong and “giving us all hope”. Because yeah, that is apparently how bad the general relationship between staff and administration is at my work, y’all. Yikes.

Anyway, this is the end of this story for now! Thanks for reading!


  1. Encouraging to hear about other people changing their names as adults! I am starting to consider legally changing mine at some point, though unlike your coworker (and maybe you? not sure if you took on new last name to go with Kasey), I’ll keep my first name — just change the last to Isak.

    1. I changed all of my names at the same time. My old first name is now my last name (although I will probably use it in addition to my spouse’s last name, which I’ve been using for years anyway), and I gave myself totally whimsical middle names :P

      I definitely think that changing last names is seen as way more normal, most places are way more adept at dealing with it than first name stuff!

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