Ever since WordPress added the “Insights” tab to the stats page, I have been fascinated with the pating activity calendar. I find it really satisfying to see my posting schedule line up in a regualar way. I also find it intersting to see the places where it doesn’t; it’s sort of interesting graphical depiction of my life, in some ways. Here’s what my last year looks like as of this writing (August 12):
For reference, it was last August that my ex-spouse and I actually decided that we would stop living together once the lease on our apartment was up. I was also dealing with another break-up on top of that. I was posting on my regular schedule at the time, for the most part, though. In September I was also mostly unemployed (I had a gig on Sundays only), which made it easier to find time to write. In October though, I went back to my old retail gig, which involved a lot of twelve-hour days, so between that and obviously dealing with a lot of emotional stuff, my posting dropped off dramatically (there’s usually a two- to three-week delay between things happening and my posting schedule showing it because when things are running smoothly, I usually have posts scheduled that far in advance.
Somehow I managed to get my shit together for a bit in the new year, but then by March (the month we actually moved out) I gave myself another break.
Since then, though, I have been this awesome power house. There’s definitely a few things contributing to that.
For one thing, April is when I started my new job, which is great and energizing, and also (significantly) very part-time. So I have lots of both the time and energy required for writing!
Deciding to the the Genderqueer Challenge has also been helpful for keeping me writing – I will not be keeping up with a three-post/week schedule once its done, though; I’ll be back to my regular standard of “Every Wednesday for sure, and Mondays when I have other things to say that don’t feel like they deserve a Wednesday slot/when I’m so far ahead of schedule that I’m comfortable with an increased post frequency.” But the challenge has inspired some of the non-challenge posts I’ve written in the meantime, helping me keep my regular writing flowing.
But even given all that, I am doing remarkably well with producing content lately (I keep thinking I’m going to hit a week where I at least skip the Monday post, but I keep finding things I have to say that I can slot in there), and to be honest, it is partially a coping mechanism. There are some extemely important aspects of my overall life goals and plan that are massively out of control right now, and that’s giving me a lot of anxiety attacks. And it’s also making it more important to me to keep solid control over the things that I can. It helps abate those feelings of powerlessness that I am otherwise dealing with. I can look at this graph whenever I want be like “see? I do have shit together.”
Which is overall yet another way that keeping up with this blog is quasi-therapeutic for me. So for the time being, here’s me: