Do you feel comfortable answering questions about your gender to friends? Acquaintances? Strangers? 30-Week Genderqueer Challenge part 23

This post is part of my participation in the 30-day genderqueer challenge, which I have modified to a weekly exercise.

Today’s prompt: Do you feel comfortable answering questions about your gender to friends? Acquaintances? Strangers?

This is sort of a tough one because, like, the answer really depends on what the question is? in general, though, I am ok with answering questions about my gender as long as I have reason to believe the person asking them is coming from a place of actual curiosity, and isn’t somehow trying to ‘trick’ me into admitting that I’m lying about my gender or something? Which means that, in general, I am more comfortable engaging with people I know at least somewhat than with total strangers – I am more comfortable talking generally about trans/non-binary identities and issues with strangers than my own personal gender.

I do find it hard to deal with questions in person, in the moment, though. I often feel at a total loss for words when put on the spot with these things. It’s weird, because I have spent a lot of time, and expended a lot of words, here and elsewhere, delineating my experience of gender, my identity, and everything else around that. But in person, in the moment, I find it hard to pull together the right words, and I tend to flounder a bit.

Writing is, by far, my preferred mode of communication for most things, though, so that’s not surprising.

Um, yeah,  I guess the answer to the is question is a kinda flaky: “Yes?…. Maybe. It depends.”

Catch the rest of my 30-week genderqueer challenge here!


  1. I usually prefer not to discuss being trans as it can be massively triggering. Some questions are so overly intrusive too.

    1. I definitely get that!
      I think this might be one of the biggest differences between binary and non-binary trans stuff – when you’re nob-binary there’s no stealth available, only the binary closet, so I literally can’t talk about my gender without talking about being trans :/

      1. You’re probably right. I think many binary trans people just want to forget about being trans. Though I’ve found many that don’t and want to discuss it. Plus I don’t have the patience to “educate” people. The struggle non-binary people is different. And I respect it, even if I may not completely understand it.

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