poetry

I tried to write about my father, but…

I don’t know how to write about my father.

I don’t know why I don’t know how to write about my father.

I don’t know where to start in writing about my father.

 

Everything I write about my father comes out wrong.

I don’t know how to write about my father’s wrongs.

Everything I write about my father needs a disclaimer.

I don’t know how to write disclaimers about my father.

Every disclaimer I write about my father needs a disclaimer.

 

Everything I write about my father is true, but

Everything I write about my father leaves everything else out.

Every time I try to write about my father, I stop.

Write a poem about being Genderqueer: 30-Week Genderqueer Challenge Part 27

This post is part of my participation in the 30-day genderqueer challenge, which I have modified to a weekly exercise.

Today’s prompt: Write a poem about being Genderqueer

Oh dear. I don’t know how I’m going to do with writing a poem on demand. I usually only do poetry at random when things spring into my brain. I will try anyway, but first, here’s some poems I have already written about being genderqueer:

Singularity

I am genderqueer

Singular they.
Singular them.
Singular their.

People are quick to tell me

They are trying
This is hard for them
They’re doing their best

Plural they.
Plural them.
Plural their.

And
I am also trying
This is hard for me, too
I’m doing my best

But I’m always out-numbered
So they always win
And ‘they’ never will

Catch the rest of my 30-week genderqueer challenge here!

What do you see when you look at me?

When I spend too much time
Or when I get too close
To people who can’t
or won’t
really see
all of me

It is so easy for me to forget myself
To lose track of those pieces
and stop seeing them too

Or else, I deliberately take up residence
in the parts that feel seen
and abandon the rest of my self
let it all go fallow
just so that I won’t feel invisible

I try to be what they see in me
even if what they see
misses the point entirely

And this is why
so many times in my life
When I say goodbye to something old
an old identity
an old relationship
an old ambition

when I embark on something new
a new chapter
a new job
a new project

I find myself
finding myself
all over again

PSA of the Day: On sexual attraction and preferences

There is a world
of difference
between

realizing you tend to fall for people who look a certain way

and

deciding that you “just aren’t attracted to”
everyone in the entire world
who doesn’t have those traits

one is pattern recognition
the other is self-fulfilling prophecy

because

I say “I love you”
and “I love you”
and “I love you”
and “I love you”
and “I love you”
and “I love you”
and “I love you”

because
I have no other words

because
I can’t describe

because
I don’t know how to say

because
I love you

I say “I love you”
and I can only hope
that you’ll know
what I mean